There are so many things I can write about, but I don't know how to go about it. All the topics that I want to write about connect to each other one way or another, but I know I can't write a post that will end up being 5 pages long. I guess what I'll end up doing is just writing about these different topics in different posts although there may end up being some overlap here and there.
Today I want to talk about.... I'm not really sure what to label it as... speaking of labels I'm going to write about those in a different post eventually. I'm going to write about life, taking risks, wanting things... my mind isn't the most organized....
I've been thinking lately about a lot of stuff. I know that's very vague of me to say, I just don't know how else to say it. I want to have a interesting, adventurous, exciting life; with so much more than just that. I want to make a difference and do something worth while. I want a life worth living. What's the point otherwise? I can't have everything that I want because they don't really go together. I want to travel the world and go on adventures, I want to have a family and have a normal life, I want to have adventure and to always do something new and exciting, and I want to do everything I can to the highest potential I'm capable of to achieve whatever I want. These things don't really go together to the point where I can have all of it. I guess in simple words I want to live life to the fullest. What's the point of not doing what I want? I may be happy, but that doesn't mean I'm fully satisfied. To be honest, it's just hard. It's hard to do everything we want or to live the way we want for multiple reasons; I think the main two are the risk and leaving what is comfortable.
It is hard to do something so risky because of the uncertainty of what could happen; the outcomes can be scary and it prevents us from doing things we want. This is part of why I don't do half of the things I want to do. I'm not comfortable because I don't know what's going to happen. It's hard to have an extraordinary life because leaving what is known is difficult. Having an extraordinary life can be a different image depending on what people want. For some it might just be having a family and kids and their dream job, but for others it might be a lot more than that. I want all of it which is practically impossible. I need to make at least something happen. I don't want to life my life half way. Like I said, I'm happy with how it is now, I'm grateful to have what I have, I just know there's something more I can do and I don't want to regret not at least trying to do what I want. I think the main thing I want is adventure. Life is not a movie or a book, but I believe that we can still do what we want. It's partly society stopping us in a way. People stand by the rules and don't stand out, they do what the norms are. Heaven forbid someone risk it all and do something that's considered crazy. When I say this I'm still talking about making their dreams come true instead of having a 9 to5 job, creating the life they've dreamed of having but are to scared to take on.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want way more from life than what is reasonable. It's difficult for me to stick to one thing. I want it all. Some might say it's a good thing that I have goals and ideas of things I want to accomplish and what I want my life to be like, but I also can't decide what I want because I want too many things and it seems as if they just won't really work together. I don't know how to get everything I want and I know it will be hard just to get a piece of it. Taking risks and trying to get what I desire is the main part to from just being a life dream to actually making it happen. That's what I'm trying to work on for myself.
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